We’ve all been there. Someone walks into your office, sends an email, or pings you with a task that has nothing to do with your role. Maybe they’re confused about your responsibilities, or maybe they’re just offloading their work onto you. Either way, it’s frustrating.
The tricky part is how to respond without snapping or feeling resentful. Setting boundaries doesn’t have to damage relationships or make you look unhelpful. It’s about communicating clearly and protecting your time and energy.
Here’s how to handle these situations with professionalism and peace of mind.
Sometimes, people simply don’t know where your responsibilities begin and end. This happens often in roles where duties overlap, like between HR managers and general managers, or in team settings where lines can blur.
1. Clarify calmly. Try saying something like, “Actually, my role focuses on [specific responsibility], but decisions about [their request] are handled by [another team or person].” Staying calm and factual prevents unnecessary tension.
2. Redirect, don’t reject. Instead of saying, “That’s not my job,” guide them toward a solution. For example: “It sounds like this might be better handled by [team/person]. I can connect you with them.”
3. Proactively define boundaries. If your role frequently overlaps with others, address it before issues arise. Communicate your responsibilities early and often, whether in meetings or onboarding processes.
Let’s be real. Some people know they’re crossing the line. They’re hoping you’ll say yes and take something off their plate.
In these cases:
1. Stick to the facts. Say something simple, like, “That’s outside my role, but I can help you connect with the right person.” Avoid lengthy justifications. Clarity is key.
2. Stay firm if they push. If they insist, repeat yourself calmly: “Like I mentioned, that’s not something I can take on.” Repetition reinforces your boundary without escalating the situation.
3. Document, if needed. If their behavior starts feeling manipulative or malicious, protect yourself by keeping records of your interactions. Documentation can be invaluable for addressing ongoing issues with leadership or HR.
Even when you handle things professionally, repeated misunderstandings or intentional boundary-pushing can leave you feeling resentful. Resentment is often subtle at first, but it builds over time, creating unnecessary stress and tension.
Here’s why it happens:
• You feel taken for granted or undervalued.
• Your boundaries aren’t respected.
• You say yes to things you know you shouldn’t because it feels awkward to say no.
The truth is, resentment doesn’t solve the problem. It traps you in a cycle of frustration. The good news? It’s also a signal that something needs to change.
1. Acknowledge it without guilt. Feeling resentful doesn’t make you unprofessional. It makes you human. Recognize it as a sign that your boundaries need reinforcement.
2. Pause before reacting. When you notice resentment creeping in, stop and reflect. Are you angry at the other person, or frustrated with yourself for not setting clearer boundaries? This distinction helps you respond constructively.
3. Turn resentment into action. Use your frustration as motivation to improve the situation. Whether it’s having a direct conversation, updating a process, or practicing how to say no, focus on concrete steps to protect your boundaries.
4. Zoom out. Resentment thrives on small details. Step back and remind yourself of your role, your goals, and what truly matters. Not every problem is yours to solve, and that’s okay.
Letting Go and Moving Forward
The hardest part? Letting go of resentment, even when it feels justified. But holding on to it drains your energy and peace of mind. Address the root cause, whether it’s unclear expectations or a difficult colleague, and focus on moving forward.
Boundaries aren’t just about saying no. They’re about saying yes to the right things. They protect your energy, keep you focused on what matters, and allow you to show up as your best self. By staying calm, clear, and confident, you can navigate these situations with grace and without losing your cool.